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Don’t read this if you only want good vibes!

  Kumusta everyone. Wow. It’s been a long time since I wrote an entry here. It’s been almost what? A year? Time flies so fast. My first entries were about how I studied for the chemical engineering licensure exam and today, I am proud to say that I passed it and I am now a chemical engineer, working also. Who would’ve thought, right? I did that?? Well, just this afternoon, I decided to keep doing this. To keep adding more entries. Have I told you that writing is my form of therapy? So here I am again. Badly want a therapy XD. How are you? I hope you’re all fine wherever you are right now. Me? Well, life’s been… I don’t know how to call it, draining(?) lately.  I feel so down today. Both my body and mind are exhausted, I just want to disintegrate into nothingness. I didn’t know what to feel earlier. The moment I woke up, I prayed to God that this day would be okay, also the coming of days and weeks. I prayed that everything will be fine.  But I don’t know anymore. It’s the...
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Random Shizz

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Kumusta, everyone! I am literally writing this while I am on my break from self-study hours. I don't know why but I just felt making an entry here again. Anyway, so I just want to say that... my pacing in studying is HORRIBLE. We've already kicked off Day 3 subjects (started off with Algebra) but I'm still on Day 1 Inorganic Chemistry! Like, what the hell? After Day 1, I still have to review Heat and Mass Transfer, which are included on Day 2 subjects and I tell you, it's gonna be harder for me to catch up. I'm just so so so angry at myself for being like this. Why am I so lazy at times when I needed to be productive the most? Why can't I understand the concepts easily? I am aiming to be a topnotcher but with this kind of pacing and brain capacity and ability, can I even achieve that? Like, who the hell am I to even dream about that?  And then I asked God. And then I saw this: There's still self-doubt within me but I just fully trust God. I know ...
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Aiming High

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Kumusta, everyone! It's been so long since I've made an entry here. I'vee just been so occupied these past few months that I barely thought of writing here. But now, since I can't sleep even if it's already 12:44 AM (I slept from 4pm to 9pm awhile ago), I just thought I'd want to make an entry here again. I guess I want to use my blog to share or just to document my journey during my review season (and my road to that chemical engineering license!). Well, first of all, I'm just really bummed today because I couldn't study properly. I wanted to finish my pending exercises in thermodynamics but I got sick AGAIN (yes, for the second time this January alone). I couldn't think straight, my head ached so bad that I could feel a vein pulpitating, and I was shaking because of cold. So yeah, I just think I wasted my time today because I wasn't productive at all and it could affect my future plans. You know... domino effect. I have to move my to do list fo...
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The Anatomy of my heart and mind

Kumusta everyone! Just to warn you: This entry will be a  highly  sensitive one. If I haven't already mentioned it yet, writing is my form of therapy (aside from sleeping, of course!) and I want to use this blog as my medium of expression as I am not that comfortable in sharing my burdens with my close friends. If I could keep it to myself, then I would.  There is a lot going on in my mind right now that I can't even find the right words to say. Where should I even start with this entry? Maybe I'll start off by saying this: I am not genuinely okay. I am not okay with my current phase in life, I am not okay keeping up with people that just ruin my inner peace, and I am most definitely not okay with living this kind of life. These pent-up emotions are slowly killing me inside. The pressure, confusion, disappointment, resentment, everything just keeps on piling as days go by. It feels like I'm dead, well, figuratively. It feels like, I got used to these emotions so much, t...
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Slightly Productive Guinny?

Kumusta everyone! I hope you're all good out there. Me? Well, to tell you honestly, I was not feeling okay these past few days. That feeling of emptiness, anxiety, and pressure just crawled on my skin and penetrated my brain and heart. I was always on the verge of crying; I didn't know what to do with it. And before I had a meltdown, I decided to uninstall my messaging application and isolate myself from everyone I know, even for just a few hours. I grabbed my things (calculator, pens, and the 1001 Solved Problems in Engineering Mathematics book) and went to a café, which is one-jeepney ride away. I stayed there for a few hours, studying the book, while eating oreo cheesecake! It's delicious but I may prefer the original one? What was I trying to do here? When life gets too tough, try to take a step back, take a moment for yourself to unwind and seek that inner peace. Maybe you'll see life on a different perspective. Anyway, aside from that, what really helped me overco...
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